ILLINIWrestlingBlog

It is wrestling related. Do you think Prigozhin and Wagner have a bunch of former wrestlers in their ranks or blonde-haired disco boys from Moscow? Moreover, it would not surprise me to hear that Dagestan, the Ossetias and that whole region, which has the best wrestling in the world, will take this opportunity to gain their independence. Finally, whether these champions of the Russian Nationals will wrestle in an Olympics next year or a world championship this year probably depends on what happens in the next 48 hours. I will not post on this topic again. I've said my piece.

I'm not going to claim that I was the spark that lit the fuse to this attempted Russian Coup, but I did post a provocative message on the live YouTube chat for the Russian Nationals this morning. Loosely translated: "Why isn't Chechnya, Dagestan and Ossetia free? Why not now? The latest I heard in Moscow -- BUYER: How much for one Turnip? GROCER: Two Turnips!"

MARKETING Would you walk into court without a lawyer? Of course not. So why jump into the NIL cesspool without an agent. We are Top G, baby. You might know our first client, Marvin Atkins, better known as Austin DeSanto. We advised him to get a European sounding name, wrestle like somebody was choking him to death, and never let the rays of the Sun touch his body. That was his brand. We at The ILLINI Wrestling Blog and Forum are stepping it up a notch this year. Our newest client, Kannon Webster, legally changed his name to DEATH SKULL (all caps). He's got a full face tattoo and has signed a seven-figure deal with Nabisco, the darkest, most evil of the baked snack companies.

When, exactly, is the best time to get the excuses out there?

Did Thomas Gilman fall, or did Zane Richards rise? Zane wrestled the World Champion Abakarov (Albanian, former Russian) and beat him in a practice match. I think Zane didn't just rise, he is rising.

This is from a November 2022 story at The ILLINI Wrestling Blog and Forum and Beyond: THE BOUT AT THE BALLPARK This was going to be a big icebreaker between the United States and Iran with senior men's freestyle teams joining college teams from Oklahoma State and Iowa in February of this year [2022]. The Iranians refused to compete when six of their number were denied visas. ... Alireza Dabir, the former world and Olympic champion, who is now the head of Iran's wrestling federation was quoted as saying, "Death to America." He also said that more people need to take personal action against the United States. That's the kind of rhetoric that gets your country excluded from a competition. That's how Visas get denied. Iran did wrestle in the World Cup in America in December 2022. Mikhail Mamiashvili is making a big mistake here. War-mongering threats will keep his team out of international competition. Only time will heal those wounds.

This is a great example of time and place. In fact, you'd hear the whole spectrum of curse words in sequence: CURSE WORDS OF SURPRISE: "WTF!" CURSE WORDS OF ANGER: "You Mother******!" CURSE WORDS OF TRIUMPH: "Take that, you ********** piece of **** ******* snake think you ******* gonna eat my ***-**** dog?"

Look for my book, Cursing on Podcasts and 30 Other Ways to Piss Off Old People on Amazon. Use promo code "**** off!" and get 20-*******-% off your purchase. Personally, I don't do it, but sometimes it's okay for comedy or emphasis. I had one person who I interviewed curse, a very mild one, though, maybe a Cadet-level curse, and I can't even remember if I left it in or not. It was the one you say in front of your parents at age 12 to get a reaction. If I ever tried to live blog an ILLINOIS dual, that would be different. Just thinking about it has me imagining what I'd say about Patrick McKee. Some of the most vile epitaphs you can wrap your mind around, and I don't even know the fellow. Rivalries kind of get me going. I guess what I'm saying is time and place.

I would like to direct everybody to my new book, Pimping Your Own Content and 30 Other Ways to Piss Off Old People. I realize that I just pimped my own content. How you feeling, old people? The ILLINI at #9, a Junior Duals double (Greco and Free), AOC in the fold, recruits from other states teching in Tulsa (Scoles, Bennett). So excite!

We are now offering a seven-week intensive course on protests. Can a compelling protest increase your brand recognition? Yes. Let me ask you this question: Do you remember our clients Byambarenchin Bayoraa and Tsenrenbataar Tsostbayar? I bet you do. They coached the Mongolian wrestling team at the 2016 Olympics and became world famous and instant millionaires for their stripping protest at the games. Now, let me ask you this: Do you remember the name of the wrestler who beat the Mongolian? Do you remember the country he represented? Our vision WILL INCREASE your brand recognition, and if it means losing, then, yes, we will advise our clients to lose. But only if our clients have a foolproof protest in the bag. This is where Byambarenchin Bayoraa and Tsenrenbataar Tsostbayar live today:

If you are ready for an exciting future in Wrestling Celebrations, we're just the right company for you. We pay zero dollars an hour and offer zero dollars on your moving expenses. There is no health insurance which is a shame because Wrestling Celebrations Counselor is the leading cause of death in three of the states in which we are located. In other words, an unpaid internship that will likely cause you serious bodily harm or death. What's not to like?

@scourge165, I'm digging these: You have what it takes to become a full-time counselor at one of our seven training centers. We are a division of Parker Betts Backflip Camps, Inc. Are you ready to take that next step? We also tell our athletes who lose, Why not celebrate? If you've given 110%, and you still lost, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Most importantly, if your backflip and superhero landing outshines the winner's celebration, then who exactly was the loser? Hmm. Hmm.

After working with wrestlers on a top-notch celebration in one of the three main categories (Religious, Dance, Tumbling), I let him or her know that IT IS NEVER TOO EARLY TO START YOUR CELEBRATION. Why wait? If you’re up by 2 with a minute to go, do a backflip at the re-start. If time is ticking off and you have a one-point lead on bottom or on top, shake your fist in triumph. This serves two purposes: (1) You have cemented in your mind that you will win, and (2) You have destroyed your opponent’s confidence. You'll find all of these tips and more in my book: Wrestling Celebrations and Thirty Other Ways to Piss Off Old People. Buy it on Amazon today!

Another scientific breakthrough!

I'm afraid it is too late. Coaches need to start at the Cadet level with instruction on post-match celebrations and interviews. It took Sammy Brooks (another ILLINOIS kid) months and months just to grow the mullet. Then, he had to learn what product would make it exactly as fluffy as needed.

Another area in which wrestling coaches need to improve on is the post-match interview. Again, there is almost a 100% correlation between post-match interviews and a big win on the mat. Now, this isn't true of all sports. In basketball, for example, they interview the losers as well as the winners because they think people want to hear what losers have to say, even if it is a loser talking about losing and whatever else the losing loser wants to talk about. "The ball kept not going in the hole." My friends, I guarantee you that Sammy Brooks wrestled 10% harder in his Big Ten Championship match against TJ Dudley because he knew that if he didn't win, the post-match interview he stuck in his back pocket would never see the light of day.

I've heard it said that sports are 90% mental and 10% physical. That is wrong and stupid. If that were the case, Stephen Hawking would have teched Jordan Burroughs at the 2012 Olympics instead of spending the afternoon in his London flat working out fiendishly difficult equations. The famous soccer player Mia Hamm said that the most important attribute a player must have is "mental toughness." Of course, soccer players with mental toughness also writhe around on the ground after another player touches them. They're running a 10k with a ball! Soccer players should not speak unless spoken to, in my opinion. But what about physical capabilities? It has been said that in sports, there are four physical traits an athlete must use: Strength, speed, conditioning, and positioning. Yet, the race doesn't always go to the swiftest, and the fight doesn't always go to the strongest. No. There must be something else. I've spent twelve years researching the relationship between athletic celebrations and success in sports. It is nearly a 100% correlation. I'm ready to call it causation. Whenever there is an athlete or athletes celebrating, a victory has been won. Examples: I think coaches have got it all backwards. First, teach your athlete a capital celebration, like Kamal Bey's Back Flip Superman or Zane Richards' Lezginka dance, and then they cannot fail. Statistics show this to be true. After that, maybe work with them on their pummeling or high crotch a little. With a superior celebration in their back pocket, your athlete will train harder. Because you only get to celebrate if you win. ___________________ This post first appeared at The ILLINI Wrestling Blog and Forum and Beyond.

This is truth. That whole recruiting class is bulletproof.

Zane and Kamal come to mind as immediate medal threats, so I guess it comes down to them. The Wraustler has made three Senior World Teams, so there is that. I think this is Bey's second at only 25 years old, and Zane has another National team under his belt. Other interesting questions: Could Zac Braunagel make an Olympic team next year while in college? Will he take an Olympic redshirt? At 25, does Kamal have his man strength yet? Will Rau go for the Olympics before Saturday Night Live steals him away?

Zane Richards is now 3-0 against last year's Silver and Bronze World Championship medalists. The combined match points were 22-9 in his favor. There appeared to be no problem with the cut at Final X. He beat the Iranian at the World Cup. No weight/gas issues there. Zane's in a very good place right now. The Albanian (former Russian) World Champion will be a problem, but he is almost a genetic duplicate of Richards. He could be Zane's older, uglier, slightly thicker-legged brother. So excite!

Prediction that cannot be proven or disproven but I think is very likely: Without that bodacious cast, Lucas Byrd at 60 kg Greco becomes the 5th IRTC wrestler at Final X. He had signed up to go to the Senior US Open, and once upon a time, he was an age-level world teamer. By the way, what a gorgeous power couple. Byrd is the ******* Wyrd!

Thanks for this @bnwtwg! I was hoping that they would start 57kg much later in the event, as it would give Gilman a chance to cool down. He always arrives to matches so sweaty.

I don't think Tom Gilman should SWEAT the small stuff.

They'll get the chair!

Strange as it seems, here is video of Gilman versus Iran's Sarlak. Just :25 seconds into the match (5:35), Gilman is already sweating like an Exorcist on day three. One second later, the ref blows the action dead. Sarlak removes his collar tie from the back of Gilman's head and looks at his hand like WTF? Twenty days ago a MLB pitcher was ejected for violation of the foreign substances rule. Automatic 10-game suspension. Less than a month before that, another pitcher was ejected and suspended for the same thing. Missing 10 games might equate to hundreds of thousands of dollars, and yet they still break the rule. From a 2022 article about how bad the sticky substances issue had become in baseball: "With the use of foreign substances 'more prevalent' than the league had anticipated, MLB instructed umpires as of June 21 to begin performing periodic checks throughout the game on both starters and relievers." To gain an advantage, a wrestler might rub oil into his skin, perhaps even put some type of grease on the back of his head. He is unlikely to touch it, but you can bet his opponent will. I don't know if it is true with Gilman, but there needs to be an even playing field. There is no question that Gilman is too sweaty at the start of matches, and it is even worse in the second period, after his towel guy dabs him the way a new father swabs the ear of his baby.