Jagger's Friday Mailbag - 7/14/2023

Before we get going here, I just want to say a few things. Break a little kayfabe if you will. If you’re familiar with my online personality then you probably know that I have a knack for picking a random enemy to troll for a couple months or so here and there. I just want to apologize to those few who I have gone after over the years. It’s not who I am in real life and not who I want to be in fake life. Sometimes we forget that there's still a human being behind the social media name and nobody wants to be harassed daily. The wise philosopher Thor once told Loki that “life is about growth and that he seems content with just staying the same.” 

I don’t want to be a Loki. I want the power of Thor. So, I’ll try to turn over a new leaf. Will it work? I doubt it, but I will try. Also, turning over a new leaf is a stupid phrase. Why would you turn over a new leaf? You should be turning over the old leaf that has the ugly side showing. A new leaf is just a new leaf and we don’t know what it means. Anyway, I'll try to be more cordial from here on out and see if it works. Unless it’s Seton Hall Pirate. Shane Sparks and I will get our revenge for that Abacus debacle. Ok, I think there are some questions that vaguely reference wrestling down here. 

Shane Sparks was tweeting about the lightning-like atmosphere at the 2018 PSU/OSU dual. That Friday night big time matchup on BTN was a lot of fun. What dual this year will light Jag’s cigarette in regards to the dual schedule? Jkos11 

I try to put the kibosh on hating and you ask me to look up schedules in July? This love-fest crap ain’t gonna be easy. The short answer is Iowa against everyone but specifically against Iowa State. I always look forward to that one and the storylines between the teams are growing more than Adam Fellers’ hat brim. That’s it. That’s the only dual I care about this year. 

Jagger, you’ve been noticeably silent about the issue of Crocs. We need you on record. Footwear essential or footwear faux pas? Tsabolov Brands 

I actually saw the largest pair of Crocs I’ve ever seen the other day and immediately thought of how you’d be in shambles over it. I swear these things had to be a size 16. My take on Crocs? They’re hideous to look at. Have I worn them? I’m scared I’ll fall in love with them because they’re probably comfortable. I dealt with this once with Zubaz in the early 90’s. How did it turn out you ask? Lil’ Jagger’s sixth-grade class picture is drenched in striped parachute pants for all of eternity. I won’t make that mistake again. 

What local food item would you pick to have them sell at the arena where Rutgers wrestles? Mat Jerms Media 

You mean Jersey Mike’s Arena? I feel like Jersey Mike’s subs would make sense. I think they even have one already, but I don’t go walking around the place to see. It’s usually straight through the door to find my guys Dan Seifring and Brian Miller and we watch the Knights put up another victory because as we all know Rutgers has never lost with Jagger in the building. Seven wins and counting!

Thinking about the Zuckerberg-Musk MMA fight. Who had a better chance of making the lineup? Zuckerberg 2002-2004 Harvard or Musk 1995 Stanford. Mickadelphia 

I would appreciate it if you stopped thinking about it. It’s bad enough that we are caught in the middle of a social media war between these two bozos and don’t need to give them any more attention. One guy carves up and botches a perfectly fine working service and the other 

one creates a new one that sucks just as much. I hope Tom from Myspace runs in and hits them both with a chair. 

I’m going on a second-first date to WWE Smackdown this Friday. What are your predictions for Friday night’s matches? Rachel Gallardo 

A second first date? Is that like repeating eighth grade for dating? Speaking of repeating, Bianca Belair gets a rematch with Asuka for the title she recently lost to The Empress. Will Iyo Sky cash in her briefcase and try to steal the strap? I assume she makes her presence known, but barring Asuka getting knocked out by Charlotte Flair, I don’t see it happening. The Bloodlines are in shambles at the moment with Jey Uso in line for a title shot, but don’t be surprised if the man they call Goldberg shows up and nudges his way into SummerSlam; which will probably be your third-first date. 

Any hope for the Mets heading into the second half? Hopefully, my Buccos can get it together. Dysen Gould 

Son, there’s no hope for us. At least not for me but I’m used to it. I’ve been hardened by the years of losing. Someday you will, too. I told you not to gloat to Earl after beating the Nationals in April. Now you pay the price. 

Well friends, its another Friday is in the books. It’s the height of Summer. And that means it’s Fargo time. They have beach wrestling! In North Dakota!