The Blair Mat Project Part 1: A Man in Love

Related: The Blair Mat Project Part 2: A Week at Blair

This story wasn't supposed to be told. The whole concept behind the trip to Blair was about THE DUAL. We wanted to see what it would be like spending a week in Blair Academy's wrestling room as they prepare for the showdown. As everyone knows, Blair was humiliated last season at St. Paris Graham. This was supposed to be about how this Blair team was going to take revenge and reverse that sour taste these current athletes had to endure. That story is not being told here. Something else happened on the way to that dual. Jeff Buxton happened.

Jeff Buxton acknowledging the crowd who came to recognize his achievements

With a name like Buxton and a school called Blair, I would have expected the man to appear large. He's not. I expected a guy with a deep voice and large frame. Nope. He's just an average-size guy. His voice is closer to soprano than alto. He walks like a man twenty years older due to a hip replacement. But he has a larger than life presence and when he walks the campus that opened in 1858, humanity notices. THEY REALLY NOTICE. Every step we took during the week he was greeted with reverence. "Hello, Mr. Buxton ... Nice to see you, Mr. Buxton."

This is his week. Oh, he won't tell you that. He will say, "This isn't about me, it's about the kids." I wonder how much of that he believes. Getting him to admit he is special here is about as common as a shutout loss. It's not happening. It has to be the greatest moment of his career. This is the week they name the room after him. Who gets that when they are still in their prime? This is the week they officially recognize the man after 29 years. Every kid and staff on campus knows this is his week. Alumni are coming from around the country. Many can't because they are wrestling or coaching at colleges around the country. But, plenty will be there and this is the time when Blair Academy officially knights the King of High School Wrestling. Oh, there's something else happening. They have to pound revenge come Saturday. But there is no way those words are spoken. Everyone knows it.

Jeff Buxton's son, Tony, addressing the alumni and friends during the Buxton room dedication ceremony

There are plenty of stats about Buxton's career. If you ask him, he can tell you only a few. He remembers he has guided the Buccaneers to nine national titles. But ask his dual record and he doesn't seem to care. But if you really want to know what makes the man's eyes sparkle, ask him about his favorite moment coaching. He doesn't hesitate and answers with one word: Tony. He's the son and former team captain at Blair who now wrestles at Harvard. Jeff gets emotional when he remembers how special it was coaching his boy. It's obvious of the 29 years, those four were the most special. His tears prove it.

He has plenty of other special moments. He has another guy he calls his Russian son. His name is Marat Tomaev. Buxton lights up telling the story of how this kid arrives at Blair unable to speak English and how he made it his mission to watch over this kid. Marat has been spending holidays at the Buxton home ever since. He's his son. There's more. There's Ray Mendoza. If you go to the Ironman, you know the name. It's the most prestigious award given that weekend. Most passionate wrestling fans know about Ray losing his life in Iraq on his third tour of duty. But hardly any know the deal Jeff made with Ray before he left. His kids were students and Jeff said he would take care of them if anything happened to Ray. And he has. Those are the stories he's embarrassed telling, but someone needs to know. I'm humbled he trusted us with it.

Jeff Buxton coaching visiting teenager from Kansas

Jeff also has a senior daughter here. I wondered what this must be like for her. Dads are not supposed to be cool when you are this age. Especially when he teaches her in math class. But, Siena seem to genuinely admire and love her dad. I sensed none of the embarrassment I felt well into my adult years. I think she even likes her dad. She had a young man spending time with her and I wanted to ask what that was like, but I left that one alone. I have three daughters of my own and I know. Jeff also has a wife, Carol, he met while he was a sophomore in college in Rhode Island. I visualized what she looked like long before I finally met her. I expected her to look lonely and wishing for a different life than being married to a man who's married to a team. But, Carol seemed happy too. This whole picture I expected was slowly changing the longer I observed. These are normal people ... living an extraordinary existence. And I don't use that word lightly.

So what else? What else is there about the man? What are the secrets that produced so many NCAA All-Americans? What is it about him that churns out NCAA champs like Steve Mocco, Mark Perry, Zack Esposito and so many others? I wanted to know what is happening on this campus that makes parents gladly part with $45,700 so they can live this special life. After a two- hour interview he asked if he could show us around the campus. We agreed and he proudly brought us to the library and to the admissions building. He brought us into the cafeteria and told us how the male students wear ties to dinner twice a week and rotate tables every three weeks so they know every student and staff. Jeff is in his glory. He is a man in love with Blair Academy. We run into a family of three from China who seem lost. Buxton starts guiding them around and has completely forgotten about us two story tellers. He's asking the prospective student where he wants to go to college. In broken English he answers, "Stanford." He responds with "good choice." I find it peculiar the first encounter is about which college he will attend, not about Blair. But, nothing's really normal with this guy.

Steve Elwood has a few words for the Blair Academy wrestling team at the end of a long week

We spend a week in the room. The Jeffrey P. Buxton Wrestling Room. Twice this week he will throw the entire team out for lack concentration, focus and for simply being flat. It becomes clear to me Todd Preston and Mark Grey are the barometers for the team. If they are on, so are the rest. But twice, even they couldn't rise the tide. In a dual the previous weekend I watched Jeff coach. He did very little except chew the gum. He hardly ever talked. But in the room, in his room, he is nonstop chatter. The high pitched voice hardly ever stops during the 120-minute session. He stalks the room looking for mistakes. He seems to know exactly where his team needs to be at each moment and if they aren't in sync with his thought, there will be pain. At one moment during an especially brutal beat down, Jeff had his kids wrestle live.

If you ever wrestled in high school, you know how brutal this can be. I hated just knowing it was coming. After what seemed like an insanely long first period, I timed the second. It was four minutes. The third period brought the live wrestling to 12 minutes and that was followed by a one minute overtime period. The kids were whipped and sweat was dripping off each kid's face. He then had them go three more 45-second periods. I wanted him to stop.

Chris Danyo, Jeff Buxton, and Steve Elwood

By the end of the week, he lightened up. He was full of cheesy jokes and he actually seemed to enjoy what was coming. The three of us knew this was going to be a very special day on Saturday. He wouldn't touch it. He kept saying this is about raising money or honoring those that went before us. I finally got the courage to tell him BS. He had a sparkle in the dark brown eyes and we both knew. It's the closest he let me in.

Saturday was a lot like a wedding. It went by like a blur. Everyone wanted a few minutes, a hand shake and an occasional hug. This was obviously an uncomfortable day for him. The wrestling match against St. Paris Graham can't get here fast enough. After plenty of tributes, it's finally time to wrestle. The entire 425-student assembly is here. The entire Blair staff is here. All the alumni are here. It's time to get it on. Jeff takes his seat and puts a stick of gum in his mouth. He doesn't talk. He's watching something completely different than we are. The man is in the moment. The man is in love.

Steve Elwood can be reached at steveel@rstransportinc.com. Chris Danyo can be reached at cd1421@gmail.com.

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The Blair Mat Project Part 1: A Man in Love

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