The Octagon is empty in March (Photo/Zuffa LLC via Getty Images)Maybe I can't overstate my disdain for March Madness, but I will try.
The actual game of basketball doesn't bother me. I think it's a fine game and when played in playgrounds and backyards is an excellent way to get children exercising. College basketball, in principle, isn't that offensive, a game can be a fantastic place to bring alumni and locals together in a moment of camaraderie. However, March Madness is not about physical exertion or happy-happy joy-joy feelings of community, it's about money.
What bothers me as much as the gross over-commercialization of an amateur contest and the irrational grip these have on the psyche of the American sports fan. It's laughable to hear courtside announcers and grown men cackling about this tournament's "Cinderella!"
Grow up, kids.
The entire month is a spectacle if it wasn't already unpalatable for its awkward and predatory components the domination of the sports calendar by the round ball enthusiasts has meant a hiatus for the largest mixed martial arts promotions.
The Ultimate Fighter is on, but reality television fighting isn't the level of competition fans are use to seeing every other weekend from the sport's largest promotion. If the UFC were available in March I could at least turn off the television for the week and hold out hope for the weekend PPV. But there is no respite -- no oasis of big fights to keep me intrigued on Thursday night. Instead like the protagonist of an Orwellian novel, I'm forced into hours of propaganda by walls filled with talking heads discussing the virtue, class, heart, integrity and general greatness of a sporting event I thoroughly challenge. The next televised UFC fight is April 14, a free card from Sweden, which marks the return of the organization after a five-week break.
As I wait, the NCAA will be splashing our eyeballs with the imaginary values of their student-athletes. It's not hyperbolic imagery to contrast big wig college presidents and athletic directors sitting in luxury suites and flying home on private jets to the athletes receive critiques for their performances by overpaid bloviating commentators before taking a bus back to their shared dorm room. Maybe their most prominent value is "sacrifice."
(This is probably tangential but consider the amount of money the NCAA and colleges will be making off their free and largely disenfranchised labor force -- while also jacking up the cost of tuition for every student on campus.)
Inundation of corporate bullshit and institutional self-righteousness don't make for viewing pleasure, even if Jim Nance uses the words "heroic" and "courageous" to describe a blocked shot or 15-foot jumper. No, Nance-y Boy, those words are reserved for warriors like Frankie Edgar and the Korean Zombie, who are able to withstand facial fractures and body-battering muti-round soirees with a man trying to put them to sleep.
Maybe the best way to make it through this atrocious stretch of UFC-less action is to bet point spreads, but that would only feed the gambling that is the supporting culture of this tournament. If you don't think betting drives the majority of attention for this weekend then you need to conduct a survey of NON-sports fans and ask how many of them filled out a bracket. Your numbers will be higher than fifty-percent. Then ask those sports fans you know if they, or any of their friends, are making trips to Las Vegas, or tournament cities. The answer will be "Yes."
Analyze the reality of this month and the odor of the impropriety becomes too pungent to ignore: The NCAA tournament is just weaving slivers of athletic achievement between commercial space. The free labor force working for crusty old white guys. Contrast that lack of individual representation that with self-determination and profit possibilities of MMA and the frustrations of having to deal with basketball becomes almost too brutal.
Of course the fight world isn't without its own troubles, but at least the premise and the operators conduct much of their business at a level above "pond scum." Yes, there are shady dealings and underpaid fighters, but they're professionals and unlike their college basketball counterparts aren't being induced by the bait-and-switch of a free education. Fighting is in-your-face and unapologetic, March Madness is a spectacle where the fewer questions asked means more money for the have's, even as the have-not's do all the work.
I'll pass the ball on watching and leave my only updates to unavoidable big screens at gastro pubs and sports bars. In the meantime I'll brush up on my knowledge of the upcoming fights and watch replays of the NCAA wrestling tournament. Hell, I might even watch old Pride fights. Watching someone get soccer-kicked in the face seems more fair than watching the indentured servitudes perform for the masses.
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